Massage Sabotage
by 08joanna
Summary: In the middle of "Massage Therapy," Cuddy goes to Wilson for insight on House's latest craziness.


Cuddy was incensed. After giving House her ultimatum regarding his hooker/masseuse, Brandy - "I won't see you until you stop seeing her," she felt truly angry at him, yet also confused at why he'd ever expect that this situation would be okay with her. She debated whether or not to talk to Wilson about it. He'd come to her before, when House was worried about the "nothing in common" issue, and she'd actually been grateful that he cared enough to let her know House was worried about it. One side of her hated bringing Wilson into the details of their relationship, but the other side of her knew that Wilson understood House better than anyone, had more experience with deciphering his many moods and the strange workings of his mind. Maybe he could actually help. She left her office, took the elevator up to the fourth floor, and walked towards Wilson's office. His door was open, but she knocked on it anyway, and he looked up from a file on his desk to see her standing there.

"Hi," Cuddy said.

"Hi yourself. Come on in."

Cuddy entered Wilson's office and closed the door behind her. She sat down and looked at him without speaking.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"It's silly, really. I just thought maybe you'd know if …" Her voice trailed off, as she reconsidered whether she really wanted to say this out loud to a third party.

"If what?"

"When House was living with you …"

"Yeah? When House was living with me, what?"

She hesitated again, and then just blurted it out. "Did he ever get massages from a hooker named Brandy?"

Wilson laughed.

"This isn't funny," Cuddy said, ready to get up and leave.

"I'm sorry," Wilson replied. "It's just … I can't believe he's still doing that."

"So it's true? She's not someone he saw for the first time today just to jerk me around?"

"Yes, it's true. Brandy's the most recent in a string of several people who came to the loft to give him massages."

"Were the others also hookers?"

"No, not all of them. He used to use a woman named Ingrid pretty regularly. Remember her? The one I hired when he first detoxed years ago?"

Cuddy nodded. "I think so."

"She certainly wasn't a hooker. She came from a highly rated PT clinic. But she moved back to South America a while back, I think. Since then he's tried several different people, not all of which were female, by the way."

"And Brandy really does massage, not just the hooker stuff?" Cuddy asked.

"Oh, yeah. In fact, I'm not even sure she did more than massage."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because the noises coming from his bedroom when she was there didn't sound like sex; they sounded like the grunts and groans he makes when he's being massaged."

"Couldn't he grunt and groan during sex, too?"

"Sure. But usually he'd only call her when the pain was bad, and he's not typically up for sex on days like that. But I shouldn't say it definitively, because obviously I don't know what went on behind his closed bedroom door."

"This is crazy," Cuddy said. "I don't really know what to do about this."

"What have you told him so far?"

"I gave him an ultimatum – me or her."

"Did he give you an answer?"

"No, not yet."

"He'll back down."

"Why are you so sure of that?"

"Because he loves you."

"I thought so, until now."

"He does, believe me."

"Does he really need massage that badly? If so, I could do it for him – I'm really quite good at it."

"Have you offered?"

"No. I'm not sure he'd want me doing that."

"You're right - he might not. He might not want you focusing on his leg that much. Wouldn't hurt to mention it though."

"I'll think about it."

"Cuddy, look – if he brings this up to me, I'll certainly support your position."

"Thanks, Wilson. I hate to take something away from him that really helps him, but I can't stand the thought of … God, I feel like such a jealous idiot sometimes."

"You're not an idiot, and it's perfectly reasonable to be pissed at him for this. I don't know why he'd think this would be okay with you. It's ridiculous."

Cuddy considered his words, trying to solve the riddle herself. Suddenly she figured something out. "You're right, it is ridiculous. He must've had another reason for doing it."

She got up and walked out. Another reason – but she wasn't sure what that was. If she couldn't figure it out quickly, she'd have to confront him about it.


End file.
